Graffitimasters

A True Map of Florida joke email

Boomer — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 02:07:03 +0000

Man, this summer and spring has been tough on the joke spam. I am not sure if it is the economy, or the oil spill in the gulf, or the World Cup, but we have gotten, like, zero spam emails for quite some time. What’s up people? Cheer up and send us some spam!

Luckily a friend of ours who lives/lived in Florida sent us this one the other day. I should preface that we now live in Florida so it is ok for us to laugh at our state again; we actually lived here and moved away, but recently moved back again.

Here is the email:

Subject: Finally, a true map of Florida

Finally, a true map of Florida that explains this weird, but wonderful state

You know you’re a Floridian if….

Socks are only for bowling.

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

You’re younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.

You dread love bug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley ,
Frances , Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma…Irene…Cheryl…Rita Mary..Alison

You know what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

‘Down South’ means Key West

Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

You’ve hosted a hurricane party.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.

You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim.

You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.

You recognize Miami-Dade as ‘Northern Cuba’

You not only forward this but you understand it (–we posted it here instead 0f spamming our pals)

Thanks Gina! We missed your email joke spam! Gina noted that she was surprised that Sopchoppy and Mt. Trashmore didn’t make the list!

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My friends have gone Kilt crazy

Boomer — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 14:27:59 +0000

I am on Facebook, and photos popped this week of my friends up in Tallahassee, FL all dressed up in kilts. Yup kilts. They decided to have a cigar and kilt night at the pub they frequent up there. We looked into kilts for me in the past, but never purchased one; they can get pricey. Cigar and kilt night spiked my interest again, so I asked them where they are getting them from and they said Alt.Lilt. I went and checked out the website and they have kilts for boys and skirts for women also and a decent set of kilt options for men.

My friends say they do a great job making the kilts. We knew of another shop on the web called Utilikilt. If you are in the market for a kilt check either place out.

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Remove Nero Scout

Boomer — Tue, 18 May 2010 18:15:18 +0000

Just a quick note to me. This actually works without breaking Nero 7 on Windows XP SP3.

Here’s how to disable Nero Scout:

open command window

After it comes up, run the command:

regsvr32 /u “%COMMONPROGRAMFILES%\Ahead\Lib\MediaLibraryNSE.dll”

Nero 7 is way cool, but Nero Scout is just annoying.

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Fun Free Virtual Drive Software for Windows 7

Boomer — Mon, 17 May 2010 14:37:34 +0000

For nearly ever, ok, since 2005, I have been using Nero to make digital backups of my program CDs and DVDs and then using Nero image drive to mount them and reinstall the software after a drive crash. This has been an extremely reliable way of efficiently managing software for work and home, if all the drive images are in one safe place like a networked hard drive, then I spend less time searching for discs in a CD case, and more time rebuilding systems. In most cases, a total rebuild of a system after a crash is about 3hours.

With the advent of Windows 7, which is extremely popular over Vista around here, we ran into trouble where Nero stopped being useful. In a mad dash to find a quick fix we came across this software from Slysoft.com, their program called Virtual CloneDrive works perfectly on Windows 7 for us, and the best part is, it is free! If you are looking for a solution for system support for Windows 7, this may be useful, it is around here.

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We decided to try the iPad

Boomer — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 17:09:32 +0000

We have a pretty decent home network, we pretty much have a computer in every room of the house. The problem is computing is getting more and more sociable. I mean, we as a family like to sit around and talk and be on the computer at the same time and watch TV or watch the kid play. I have a laptop, a Apple MacBook Pro 2.5GHz Intel Core 2 Duo (15.4-inch) but it is not kid friendly, it has all our cool software on it and it is already finicky with LED banks not lighting on the display from time to time. Since it is not on warranty any more, the easy solution is to just let the adults work on it. We also have a couple old G4 Mac Minis, the Apple Mac mini (G4 – 1.42GHz) and the Apple Mac mini (G4 – 1.5GHz). The 1.42GHz G4 Mini is our home file server runs quietly in the basement all by itself. The 1.5GHz G4 is in our family room tucked away in a corner near our entertainment center. The problem with our setup is that there is a partial wall separating the entertainment center from the family room, and that partial wall acts as a barrier during conversations. There is a whole lot of “what, I missed that” and “can you say that again” going on as we speak across the room. Missing words during conversations happens but sometimes it helps to have proper flow and cadence during communication. We could have moved all the computers into one room but that would look messy and we are trying to sell our house. Other options we’ve done in the past involved moving chairs around my desk to view items on the MacBook Pro, or huddle around our 1.42GHz G4 Mini. We even sat around my laptop on the couch until the kid kicked it by accident. The wife has been complaining lately that the mini in the family room is slow, which it is, but it works fine like most Apple products it is like a toaster, you plug it in and it works until the day you decide you need a different color toaster. It has just enough memory to run OS 10.5.8 and the software we like, Office 2004 for example, and safari and email. It also video conferences with an old iSight camera.

We are happy but as a family we want to have a bit more utility, this is where the iPad comes in. It really doesn’t have any moving parts which makes it kid friendly and we found that most of the time we are searching the web, checking email and taking care of bills on the little mini. We can do all of that with the iPad, and now we can all cozy up on the couch, and do little activities together and be sociable as a family without missing words. With the exception of not having a built in camera, it is nearly a perfect consumer item for a busy modern family. It is simple yet powerful. I like that we can all be comfortable anywhere in the house and still monitor what our child does on the Internet.

Setup was easy, just plug it into a computer that has the latest iTunes, 9.1 (79) so far, and follow on the screen instructions and you are done. My six year old son could run the thing on his own after that. I am very interested in seeing how this style of computing takes off. Someday maybe a 42 inch wall mounted system with all of our favorite movies on it.

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Funny little email came in today

Boomer — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 19:29:14 +0000

A friend sent me this email. Little did she know that I have seen this before in Florida. My half brother Dan took me fishing and we had to drive past a bunch of lazy alligators. I voiced some concern, because he said we were going to wade waste deep, in brackish water, to get to the fish. Dan said not to worry about the alligators, it’s the sting rays that we should worry about… Sting rays?

Here is the Email:

Subject: FW: Florida Road Sign

There were comments along the spam path like “I bet the alligators put up the sign”.

Thanks Cate.

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Oh Boy Here is a Grass is Greener Email

Boomer — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:25:03 +0000

Interesting email had the sender saying “i SO have the green acres song in my head right now!”

Subject: – Greener Grass

Sometimes, we try too hard to get to the greener grass. In the process, we end up in trouble……..

And when you find yourself in trouble and you’re stuck in a situation that you can’t get out of, there is one thing you should always remember…..

  

Not everyone who shows up……  Is there to help you!!!!

Wow. Um, thanks Gina.

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HG TV Dream home time again

Boomer — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 20:12:17 +0000

We always like this time of the year when we can sign up for an impossibly expensive house and dream about winning it, knowing all the while, that we really don’t want to win it, because winning the give away would most likely bankrupt us. The cool part is, and most irrational, is that even if we did win it, and only owned it a day, that one day of ownership would be worth it, just to say we won a house in a raffle once.

Our dream house:

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Three things I learned this weekend

Boomer — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:37:02 +0000

Just a quick note on some fun stuff that we did this weekend. Besides having some of the best home made chili ever and waking up to some very yummy blueberry pancakes the next morning. I learned that:

My brother has a cylon toaster.

That Ron Zacapa X0 is a very good rum.

And finally, if you want to make truly the best drinks ever you should get a book that describes how it was done back in the 1800s. This means figuring out how to work with chunk sugar and egg whites to filter out impurities. It is all worth it if you want your own simple syrup.

That is why I like to visit my brother, I learn all kinds of cool things.

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I wish grown ups could remember being kids

Boomer — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:05:40 +0000

I just looked down at my coffee mug from fourbucks and noticed it had writing on it. Stuff like “I wish this”, and I “wish that”. Blah blah blah… What caught my eye was the one that said “I wish grown ups could remember being kids.” That got me thinking, mainly because I am a grown up. First off: Holy cow! I am a grown up, and in my 5th decade! Wow. Anyway. I still feel like a kid; a couple aches and pains here and there, but still a child at heart.

What I find most profound is that I have a young child, and well, I found that I have been remembering more and more about my childhood as I watch my son explore and grow in the environment around me. You know, the same way as when you come into a house were someone is cooking lasagna and you smell the spices and cheese on the warm air currents coming from the kitchen, and you start thinking back how your grandmother made lasagna, and then your mind wanders off to little details about that particular day and that meal, years way back, at your grandparents house with the red and white plaid table cloth and sticky naugahyde table chairs. Of course, everyone has some little memory sparked by the smell of food and I think also by watching children play. Having a child of your own also helps you remember things too about your childhood. With the exception of that one really smelly diaper change, watching my son grow up has really been one of the most enjoyable and most memorable experiences in my life.

All grown ups remember when they were kids, we just don’t telegraph it to the world, because if we did people would think us to be crazy. So basically, your wish has come true, coffee cup printer person for fourbucks. If you don’t think so, well, maybe you should have worded your wish better. Maybe “I wish grown ups could remember being kids so when I draw cool patterns with a rock on the side of the new car, they would appreciate the value of my creativity and not ground me for life.” Something like that may do. Eh, wishes are the easy way out, just work hard at communicating with the adults in your life, finding their weaknesses through clever discourse and exploit them to sway judgments toward your desired goals. Alright, that will never happen, not against adults, they know everything. Stick to wishing, the odds are about the same for getting what you want as they are for trying to explain things to them. The coolest thing about a wish, is just saying “I wish” can be somewhat calming to the spirit if for no other reason than to take your mind away from the moment.

I wish I could stop writing about this. Done.

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Graffitimasters

A True Map of Florida joke email

My friends have gone Kilt crazy

Remove Nero Scout

Fun Free Virtual Drive Software for Windows 7

We decided to try the iPad

Funny little email came in today

Oh Boy Here is a Grass is Greener Email

Sometimes, we try too hard to get to the greener grass. In the process, we end up in trouble……..

And when you find yourself in trouble and you’re stuck in a situation that you can’t get out of, there is one thing you should always remember…..

Not everyone who shows up…… Is there to help you!!!!

HG TV Dream home time again

Three things I learned this weekend

I wish grown ups could remember being kids

Not everyone who shows up……  Is there to help you!!!!