A True Map of Florida joke email

Man, this summer and spring has been tough on the joke spam. I am not sure if it is the economy, or the oil spill in the gulf, or the World Cup, but we have gotten, like, zero spam emails for quite some time. What’s up people? Cheer up and send us some spam!

Luckily a friend of ours who lives/lived in Florida sent us this one the other day. I should preface that we now live in Florida so it is ok for us to laugh at our state again; we actually lived here and moved away, but recently moved back again.

Here is the email:

Subject: Finally, a true map of Florida

Finally, a true map of Florida that explains this weird, but wonderful state

You know you’re a Floridian if….

Socks are only for bowling.

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

You’re younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.

You dread love bug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley ,
Frances , Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma…Irene…Cheryl…Rita Mary..Alison

You know what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

‘Down South’ means Key West

Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

You’ve hosted a hurricane party.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.

You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim.

You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.

You recognize Miami-Dade as ‘Northern Cuba’

You not only forward this but you understand it (–we posted it here instead 0f spamming our pals)

Thanks Gina! We missed your email joke spam! Gina noted that she was surprised that Sopchoppy and Mt. Trashmore didn’t make the list!

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A True Map of Florida joke email

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