19 easy steps to improve the quality of scientific research

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On the Confocal Listserver there is discussion about “An alarming amount of (statistical) image manipulation and so much more” One member wrote in and added this:

Here is a recipe in 19 easy steps to improve the quality of scientific research:

1. take high-school students with little or no math and science background, and undeveloped analytical skills
2. give them computers with DOS
3. let them graduate in “Cult of the Mother Goddess” and “Harry Potter Mythology” studies (optional: throw in Creationism)
4. send them to grad school in a lab where they have no real project and complete lack of supervision
5. upgrade their computers to Windows 3.1
6. put a lot of pressure of them to publish in the top journals
(optional): give them a PhD
7. send them to a new lab for postdoctoral “training” in a lab where they have no real project and complete lack of supervision
8. upgrade their computers to Windows 98
9. put a lot of pressure of them to publish in the top journals
10. put a lot of pressure of them to obtain funding for another year
(optional): repeat 7-10
(optional): upgrade their computers to Windows 2000
11. (optional): give them a faculty position, (where they have no real project and complete lack of supervision)
12. put a lot of pressure of them to publish in the top journals
13. put a lot of pressure of them to obtain funding for another year
14. give them (undergraduate/graduate students/postdocs; choose one) with little or no math and general science background (and undeveloped analytical skills)
15. upgrade their computers to Windows XP
(optional): appoint them as peer-reviewers
(optional): let them delegate their peer-reviewing tasks to their undergraduate/graduate students/postdocs; (choose one), with little or no math and general science background (and undeveloped analytical skills)
16. Buy a LINUX box that no one will use (“what type of computer is this?”)
17. reduce funding for schools
18. upgrade their computers to Vista
19. start over…

Thanks Julio

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About Boomer

Applications engineer with a specialization in microscopes and computer integration of microscopes. Presently living in Orlando Florida. My focus is in fluorescence, bright field, dark field, polarized light, confocal and spectroscopy applications. I am also fluent in electron microscopy (SEM and TEM).

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